Transportation Tuesday: I Like Your Earrings

Scene: The seat behind me. Back of the bus. Morning.

Starring: 

Annoying Girl Laughing at You

IMPULSIVE TALKER

Like A Cholo

GANGSTA

Action.

GANGSTA: [Gets on bus]

IMPULSIVE TALKER: Hey, are those diamonds? [Points at GANGSTA’s earrings, half carat Dollar Tree studs that sparkle like an oil-covered baby seal]

GANGSTA: …

IMPULSIVE TALKER: [A little louder] Hey, are those diamonds?! Hey! Are – those – diamonds???!

GANGSTA: Why you wanna’ know, foo? Huh?

IMPULSIVE TALKER: Geez, I was just asking. You don’t have to be an ass.

GANGSTA: Ey, I don’t needa’ take that sh*t from you. I don’t need to take that kind of sh*t from you, b*tch.

OTHER PASSENGER: She was just asking a question.

GANGSTA: Shut up, man. Why don’t you mind your own business?

IMPULSIVE TALKER: [scoffs] Don’t be rude! I’m telling on you. [Gets up and walks toward the front of the bus]

GANGSTA: You need to grow up, b*tch! [Mutters in Spanish]

ME: [Thinking] Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh.

IMPULSIVE TALKER: [To bus driver] The man back there is using bad language. He’s being rude. I mean RUDE.

DRIVER: [sighs, wondering why he has this job, oh yeah, because job position on the Magic School Bus was already taken] I’ll talk to him.

IMPULSIVE TALKER: [Struts back triumphantly] I told on you.

GANGSTA: You need to learn how to grow up. [Mutters in Spanish again]

ME: [Thinking] Fight, fight, fight, fight!

 

Unfortunately, no physical fighting occurs. Darn. Although I think I could hear the daggers flying through the air from IMPULSIVE TALKER’s eyes for the rest of the bus ride.

Jersey Shore sucks

Still better than "Jersey Shore"

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2 thoughts on “Transportation Tuesday: I Like Your Earrings

  1. lol you are a really funny writer. We should do a guest post exchange. Was visiting your blog to to tell you I posted something you may like, but was pleasantly surprised to find a place that has my kind of humor. Favorite line of the post : Me: Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh 😄 priceless

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