“Homosexuality is a sin!” And Other Words of Crazy Bible Thumpers

When the sun comes out in full display, the crazies come out and want to play.

The university I go to is smack dab in the center of the largest city in the state. This city has a reputation of being eccentric, liberal, and full of hippies and hipsters alike. About 29,000 people attend this school and thousands of students pass through the heart of campus, the Park Blocks, everyday.

Bring on the Bible thumpers.

“Homosexuality is a sin!”

All right, pretty tame by Jesus freak standards. Heard this before. Next.

“All sinners are going to Hell.”

Yawn. Yeah, yeah, we know. Anything else?

“Depression is the accumulation of your sins.”

Which inspired this reply from a student: “No, f#ckhead, it’s biological.”

Now we’re getting somewhere. Time to grab some lunch and watch the rest of the show.

Proselytizers love standing on the benches in the Park Blocks to spout the mighty word of God – or their superior interpretation of it at least. It never fails to draw a crowd – and oh what a crowd we have today. Let the monkey show begin.

Most times, these people are harmless and easy to ignore. They just stand around shouting to the air and whomever is bored or mildly interested enough to listen. Sometimes, there are multiple people, however and they carry large signs with bold letters that read: “God hates fags.” The leader will hold up a microphone to his religiously fouled mouth and preach what amounts to nothing more than bigoted hate speech.

Bible Thumper hate speech

Where’s the love? Whatever happened to God loving everyone? [Insert Carlin rant here]

These people in all their ignorance and spite are actually quite fascinating. I would love to catch a specimen and do some prodding tests to get to the bottom of what the hell they are and why the hell they do what they do.

Fortunately, those crazies with the signs haven’t been around recently. This day, it was just two guys, who traded shifts every couple of hours or so. I didn’t get to hear the rest of the first guy’s preaching as I was on my way to meet up with a friend, but I got to pass back by a little while later. The young guy had turned into a post-middle aged man.

The day was winding down, so there weren’t nearly as many people on campus and hanging out in the Park Blocks. The man still had a small audience in a semicircle in front of him, though. After buying a Coke, I joined the audience, picking a spot off to the side. From where I was positioned, I could only hear his louder proclamations. His mellower responses to the people directly in front of him were out of ear shot.

From what I could make out, he was talking about sex (ooo, scandalous). And based on the reactions of the people around him, it was the sexist, “religious purity” crap. Something to do with girls staying virgins until marriage. Dude, it’s a bit late to spread that message to a crowd of youngish liberal college students.

His speechifying then gravitated toward the reproductive organs.

“There is a flap of skin between the legs of a man called the scrotum.”

Man in crowd: “TESTICLES!”


“What is the female equivalent of the testicles?”

Woman in crowd: “Ovaries!”

No bother masking the sardonicism. “I’m a health major. Thank God for fifth grade sex ed!”

And so this went on for some time longer. I don’t really know why he was giving us an anatomy lesson.  Something more about virginal girls, unclean sinful sex, his wife blah blah blah. And something to do with heterosexual coitus being the only God-ordained type of coitus. He made the cliched “the only purpose of sex is to reproduce” and that is why homosexual sex is bad bad bad. Another sexist comment.

Man in crowd: “And what about women who can’t have children? And women going through menopause?”

Your rational reasoning is wasted, sir. What’s the point? Preacher Man ain’t going to have his mind changed. I wonder how many minds Preacher Man has changed? I doubt he changed anyone’s perspective on our campus that day (but who knows, maybe he did. Probably not.)

As I was reaching the end of my bottle of Coke and attention span, I heard music a few dozen yards down the Park Blocks. It was the university acapella group. How refreshing. Some attention diverted from the hate and ignorance being squawked by the religious nut. Something positive and less tiresome to counteract the sex organ-obsessed Bible thumper.

I debated whether to stay with the Jesus freak or go to listen to the acapella group. The debate was a short one.

Just as I joined the small group of people enjoying the musical entertainment, the acapella group started whooping and cheering and setting off poppers. Back at the Bible thumper crowd, people started cheering and clapping, too.

It took me a moment to see why. A woman had her arms wrapped tightly around a man in a suit and they both looked ecstatic. They kiss. And hug. And kiss again. I’m not much a romantic sentimentalist *cough*yeahright*cough*, but the scene just tugged at my heart strings. The man gave the acapella group a Chesire cat grin and two big thumbs up. The newly engaged woman turns to see familiar faces, “omg, you’re here, and you’re here, too” etc, etc. She shows off the ring with a Chesire cat grin of her own.

Not bad. Finally, a message of love.

Now here’s George Carlin with a special message:

Thoughts on these type of folks? Have you had any run-ins with Bible thumpers?


25 thoughts on ““Homosexuality is a sin!” And Other Words of Crazy Bible Thumpers

  1. Religion is a political player who was responsible for authorizing the regime of kings in the mid-evil times (lol). Now that most of the world has democracy the concept of religion is a dinosaur. But, it won’t go away without a fight. So, we need a meteor to raze its existence from the face of the earth.

    I was born in a secular-liberal society so somehow I can never hate these guys. I pity them though, because they have been trapped in a convenient lie written really well and with some really good imagination. I think people do not stick to them for the fiction though, at least not those with brains. I think they do it because of the easy ready-made answers that they get regarding our existence which saves them from the weary work of built their own philosophy and code of conduct.

    I think that religion is the answer to you your post on the nature of human beings. You see these political thinkers could have chosen anything to subdue us but they chose to appeal to our most human aspects. They chose truth, they chose our sense of community and most importantly they chose to channel our hatred towards the unconventional sections of the society.

    Frankly, I think writing all this is pointless given we both have a brain and have used them to come to our own conclusions. But your sense of humor is commendable something of the ROFLOL standards. I wish I could borrow it from you from time to time. Very well written though. Ciao.

    • Oh yes, religion is indeed important. It’s just unfortunate to see all the harm that people choose to use it to do. We are all looking for answers and meaning. Religion provides that – however, much of it has become manipulative and takes advantage of peoples’ desperate need to belong.

      Thanks for your comment 🙂

  2. The funny thing is, these so-called “Bible-thumpers” have probably not actually read the Bible…or at least read it accurately.

    I am a Christian myself, but nothing irritates me more than the sort of people you describe. Hateful speech and demonstrations of that sort is a complete misrepresentation of what Jesus is about. Like many modern “Christians” in America and Western culture, they have completely missed the entire point of Jesus Christ. The Gospels are full of stories of Jesus eating with “sinners” and caring for those that society ostracized (not unlike homosexuals today); meanwhile, Jesus was constantly criticized by the Jewish religious leaders for his actions. They viewed these “sinners” as untouchable and evil, not unlike these “Bible-thumpers” you describe. I can’t even understand why people like that act in the way that they do.

    Anyway, I’m saying this to say that those people do not represent true Christianity. Many people who call themselves Christians do not represent true Christianity, unfortunately. Much of American Christianity has become nothing more than a moralized religious cause. Apparently these people think it’s their job to convert all of America to their brand of bad religion.

    True Christianity’s focus is on love, love for Jesus first, and then love for others. If you don’t start with this, you have no business calling yourself a Christian. The real Christians are the ones who emulate Jesus. Media and the public in general don’t notice these people because they aren’t striving to be noticed, unlike the “Bible-thumpers.” But I’ve had the privilege of knowing quite a few genuine Christians, and their encouragement and example is the reason that I’ve remained a Christian despite a lot of disillusionment regarding God and religion.

    (And just so you know, the Bible has quite a few passages about the enjoyment of sex. In fact, the book the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament is actually a very sexual poem about a couple getting married. Anyone saying that God made sex only for reproduction has never thoroughly read the Bible.)

    • That is very interesting to know! Maybe I’ll actually get into reading the Bible more in the future (I’ve only ever read Genesis).

      It is quite unfortunate that the loudest are usually the ones that represent a group. Or, more accurately, the loudest ones are the ones that are most heard (obviously), especially if the subject matter is controversial. *sigh* It’s like the cynical, religion-hating “atheists” who represent popular atheism. Not everyone holds the same beliefs as the extremists.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. Oh, my… You don’t even realize what problem with religiousness and faith Europe have (or rather probably you have, but I wanted to exaggerate my claim to show how big is the problem xD). In here it is like 3 way chess – you have atheists, or maybe it would be better to call them non believers, Christians and immigrant Muslims. Europe and in fact all western world is based on 3 foundations – one of them being Christian ethics – or in fact – the universal golden rule. And now the chess match begins. Inflow of Muslims generally wish to change “our” laws to Sharia law… Atheists do want reason and don’t want religion. Christians do want religiously proven (from lack of better word in my head) laws but not the Sharia law. o.O Clash of civilizations, BAM!

    My point is one needs to be not only reasonable about evidence on which he/she is basing her/his beliefs, but also the subtle chess game we all today are bound in.

    Great post – take care 😀

    • If everyone decided to be reasonable, no one would have to play this exhausting game of chess. And it’s not necessarily games in general that I am opposed to. It’s the games that make little positive progress, that get us nowhere but where we started – or perhaps several places behind where we started!

      Haha, why can’t we all just get along??

      • Because Islam does not mean peace or understanding – it means submission 😉 And dogmatism stands in opposition to openness of mind.

        But I think that you really knew answer already and asked a rhetorical question xD

  4. I was arguing with my mom that the church shouldn’t hate gays, and when I left the room I heard her quietly ask my sister if I was gay. She thinks I wouldn’t feel so strongly about it if I weren’t. And no, mom, I’m not gay.

    • Yikes, that’s unfortunate. Do we have to fall under a certain category to advocate for those treated unfairly? Gay, straight, trans* – we’re all human beings. We all deserve equal rights.

    • That’s really sad that your mom taunted you in this manner. Since God has created all of us, there should be no difference between us. Infact,Church should be the first place which should preach to the people about all humans are equal. Back here in India, there are some issues related to this topic but I’m not sure about those but surely the world is undergoing a great change. Many prominent personalities all over the world have declared that they are gay. So what? they have got the same talent and intelligence. They should not be left behind. Or else, we are not truly humans.

      By the way, how did you allow that man to speak all that shit infront of the students? He should be punished. Back here, he would have been punished.

      Great post. Congrats. I am with you.

  5. I get the joy of experiencing these people on my campus quite often since, like you, I go to a fairly liberal college in Northern California. I agree with you in that their minds simply cannot be changed (and this is where the Psychology major in me comes out), since at this point the beliefs they’re so carelessly spewing into our faces have become a part of their identity. And it’s not exactly easy to change who you view yourself as. For the most part, students just have fun countering everything they say, since all they really have is an outdated book that they’re paraphrasing as evidence. While they’re mildly entertaining and wholly annoying, I think I really just feel sad for them. They are so far into their bigoted and outdated beliefs that they will never experience the life and beauty of an open-minded person. They’ll never understand that sex just for sex’s sake can be fun (I mean are they really enjoying it if they’re only using it for reproductive purposes?!?). And more importantly, they’ll be cut off from an entire population of people simply because they so adamantly disagree with homosexuality. While not always the case, I’ve found that a lot of the people who visit my campus are born-again Christians. Meaning they lived a life of sin and then “Found God.” Religion is awesome if that’s what floats your boat and I have no problem with it, but the ones who were “found” were most likely pounced on in a moment of hopelessness and despair. They needed a place to belong and they were welcomed into a very close-minded and borderline hateful community, and that is just a pity.

    • Great analysis. This must be fun to dissect for you as a Psych major!

      I, too, have no problem with religion in general, but as you pointed out, there are some who pretty much prey on those who are in need of help and in search of direction. Rather than actually serving such peoples’ best interests, they brainwash them (ironically, believing this brainwashing is in their best interest).

      And it was clear that some of the students heckling the Bible thumper weren’t looking for a reasonable discussion. They were heckling for the fun of it because they, too, knew that there was no use in trying to change the man’s mind. As you said, his beliefs had become part of his identity.

      Thanks for reading and writing 🙂

  6. If you wrote my theology down on a sheet of paper, it would no doubt look a lot like “Bible thumper”-dom. So there’s lots of awkwardness when people misrepresent these principles and then I have to say, “it looks like I’m affiliated with them but I’d sooner pull my fingernails out than be part of that group.”

    From what I’ve seen, the issue with Bible thumpers is an incredibly shallow understanding of morality, especially morality in culture. They will never, ever get people to listen to their message until they begin to unravel the guiding principles in culture itself, like defining love, justice, peace, etc. Ethics mean nothing apart from purpose. They’re fooling themselves if they think they can shift popular opinion by resculpting the tip of the iceburg.

    • Well said. And how I see Bible thumpers as different from the average religious person is the fact that Bible thumpers employ the fire and brimstone and eternal damnation spiel – they spread hate rather than love. It does make me wonder what kind of people are actually persuaded by Bible thumpers because I’d imagine there have to be some people (“some” meaning “at least one”). Saddens me to think about it.

      • I know! Only people who are scared straight into “Christianity” seem to hold onto fire-and-brimstone stuff. I grew up in that type of religious conservatism. The more insecure you are about your faith, the more you feel the need to defend it, and the more crazy you get when you meet non-theists. Insecure Christianity is the breed of Christianity that the public most often sees. It drives me crazy. I want to scream “that’s not REAL!! I promise! There’s something better!”

        The believers (real believers, not crazy fundamentalists) I know who are actually loving and accepting aren’t easily offended. They see alternative views/lives/people and tolerate them, love them, understand them, and ask questions (without an intent to change opinions.) It’s not because of some arrogant “I’m right and I don’t care what you say,” thing, but because they recognize that God doesn’t need to be defended all the time. I wish the world could see that underbelly of what faith actually is.

        (P.S.- I once heard that the places and people Jesus went in his day would be like Jesus walking into a gay bar today. To do what (convict? affirm?) who knows, but the Biblical Jesus wasn’t homophobic. Truth.)

Drop Me A Line

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s