He-e-e-re’s Johnny, It’s Ali-i-i-i-ve! (and Other Resurrection Cliches)

Lucy, I’m home!

You may not be America’s favorite oldies redhead, but I ain’t a crooning Hispanic man either. In any case, after a summer filled with Hangover-meets-Mister-Magoo-esque shenanigans, Stressed Out Student is back! I know you recurring readers have missed me awfully and have felt just a little bit emptier these past few months, so I applaud you for your verve and undying tenacity. Well, folks, the drought of quality humor and deep societal insight is over! I’m making it rain!

Metaphorically, of course. I’m still a college student, so the making of the fiscal rain is postponed. Wait, that turned out to be a mixed metaphor. Sorry, I’m a bit rusty, but I’ll be back in tip top creative, sarcastic shape in no time. This upcoming week, to make up for lost time (time very well spent, actually), I will be posting each day leading up to that harrowing date of September 30 – the first day of Fall Quarter 2013. (Cue clattering lightning).

To the familiar faces, I’ve missed you all. To the new faces, stick around, you might learn something.

Or at the very least, smile and hate your life just a little bit less. That is all.

How was your summer? Do anything great, exciting, irresponsible? Share it in the comments (even if you thought your summer was boring as Hell – you’re special, too).