Professor Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Freaking and Love My Finals

And thus, we reach the end of a romance, a thriller, a comedy of errors (thank God for the curve).

Finals weren’t – aren’t – so terrible.

It is with regrettably late realization that I have come to embrace finals. They stir me, quake me, make me feel alive as never before! Finals Рessays, labs, exams, and presentations alike Рare my sole reason for living. What am I to do this upcoming month? This barren wintry month without your sweet, sweet whispers into my ears as I lay awake at night? All-nighters Рwhere am I to go to become motivated, as you have motivated me, to stay up into the wee hours of the morning to finish the 20-page essay? Where, Darling Finals, am I to turn to to soothe the cortisol withdrawals? The stress! Oh the stress. The brand of stress that the holiday brings is no match for you and your ever looming deadlines, procrastination, and the ring of the alarm clock at 6 in the a.m.  Farewell, Fall Term and Finals, I knew thee well Рfar too well!

All the studying, the late nights/early mornings, and the hours spent staring at line upon line of text – all gone in favor or normality. What is “normal?” College is life, is it not? College is life and love and everything from here to the moon and beyond. I await the return to school, to winter term, to my new and true “normal.” Until then, let us write writhing, throbbing fan fiction of our fated love: Fifty Shades of No. 2 Ticonderoga

Edward Cullen and Bella Swan sparkling in the forest

Finals and I: Still a better love story than Twilight

Just kidding. Finals create a vacuum.


[Yes. Gangsta’ now. Yo.]

Peace out, fellow students, good luck on the rest of finals, and enjoy your break.


Got thrilling winter break plans? Or just vegetating in the comfort of your home? Awesome. Share your plans (intimately) below!