Final Examinations: The Intermissionary Position

Well, we have arrived at the middle of finals week. Here’s some intermission music for you while you read this post:

 


Yes, yes, you get it, I like Monty Python. Now let’s get on with it.

So you’re smack dab in the middle of finals week and you’re feeling down in the academic dumps. You feel your life force trickling away from your haggard body and emaciated mind. Maybe you’ve already completed a final or two and have one final paper to write until you’re free to frolic into the wide open arms of the winter holidays. In any case, hump day feels like slump day, you’re as mad as Hell and you’re not going to take it anymore.

I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take it anymore

We’re running out of f*cks to give!

Peace, my fellow students, peace. Your friend Stressed Out Student is here to help. Take an off day. So what, you have a final early tomorrow morning. Is an A+ really worth the sacrifice of that last sliver of insanity you have tucked away in that dwindling island of a happy place you have? No, of course not. What use is a college degree if you’re locked away in a madhouse muttering the periodic table of elements in between electroshock sessions? Right, no use whatsoever.

So take a breather, my friend. Do a little Christmas shopping (H&M was having a huge sale!), take a leisurely stroll around town (even if it is the coldest December on record), drop by your friendly neighborhood Church of Scientology, and make yourself a gargantuan kettle of tea.

Do something you’ve been meaning to do forever. Go see a movie or a play. Call up your friends. If you have no friends (like me), never fear, the Internet is your friend. Watch “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” clips with a container of your favorite finger snack. To hell with early morning finals. Cram the whole first season of Breaking Bad into your late evening/early morning before your test. Drink a couple Red Bulls and you’ll be good to go.

I am your best friend on the Internet. Would I ever steer you wrong?

Happy Finals Week, my friends. Stay sane(ish).

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