Update: The Final Countdown… with a Vengeance

Here’s your earworm to suck on (to hell with keeping metaphors straight):

Greetings, fellow bloglings,

Stressed Out Student here with a final countdown at the Stressing Out College blog, my first blog baby. Let’s not get too sentimental here, but I have some fond memories of this blog, some posts that make me smile (and oftentimes cringe), and many posts that hit me with a feeling of foreigness. It’s been a lovely run, but never fear! I am not leaving the blogosphere forever (I know, you were desperately worried, but I got you).

I’ll be continuing my journey over at my brand new blog baby The Lonely Tribalist, where I’ll chronicle all that is mundane in the new and subsequent chapters of my life, focusing on the phenomenon of 7 billion tribal creatures each living surprisingly lonely lives. A world filled with tribes of one.

Don’t worry, I’ll keep it light. And snarky. I hope to see at least some of you over there. I’ve truly missed the lot of you.

Cheers and see you soon,

SOS

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Soylent Green is… Healthy?

In the iconic 1973 sci-fi movie Soylent Green starring Charlton Heston, the poor (the 99%) live off of this cheap food stuff called “Soylent.” Made from plankton, soylent comes in several varieties: red, yellow, and the titular green. And if you ever want to taste it in real life, here’s your chance:


No, seriously, Soylent is a real product.

If you haven’t seen Soylent Green by now starring Charlton Heston, you should at least know the most brain-bashingly famous line/spoiler that this film gifted to pop culture. If you don’t, that’s too bad and I think we’ve passed the spoiler safety deadline.

Soylent Green is people.

So I reiterate: Soylent is a real product. If this doesn’t give you pause and make you screw your face up a little, you’re a sick bastard. Either that or you’ve been on the Internet too long and nothing fazes you anymore. I’ll just remember not to invite you to dinner parties, Dr. Lecter.

When I first saw the video above, I had no suspicions that the “ad” was referring to a real product until I looked down in their description, which provided the link to the Soylent website. And even then, I was skeptical. It’s so easy to set up a legitimate-looking website these days and even this site gives up jokey vibes – but maybe that’s because I have been jaded by the interwebs. But after doing a little research, I can assure you that it is an actual product, something that will be made available for human consumption in 2014.

According to the “Soylent” Wikipedia article, the creator named it after the soylent food from the novel Make Room! Make Room!… which is what the movie Soylent Green was loosely based on. To be fair, Make Room! Make Room! did not have the twist of soylent being made of people. That was purely the movie. However, the novel and movie areinterlocked in history now and the movie is far more famous.

You cannot tell me the people behind this product did not think of the connection between the name of their product and the cannibal’s delight “soylent green.” That would be stupid to think that those people are so stupid. The world is capable of some pretty stupid stuff, but these people made a very conscious decision to name their nutritional paste “Soylent.” So why knowingly name your supposedly nutritional pasty stuff “Soylent?” Well, for one, it certainly has piqued my interest and was impetus enough for me to scribble away a little blog post about it. I won’t buy it or eat it. Well, if an acquaintance of mine ever got some, I wouldn’t be opposed to giving it a taste.

I mean, it wouldn’t actually be made of people… would it?

[And actually, it seems the creator himself tried it in the initial stages and experienced some noticeable side effects. Huh.]

Soylent, the food of the future for those of us too lazy to cook or eat off a plate. Who needs flavor when you’ve got more time to do all the other things you need to do like watching cat videos and reading up on the Kardashians? Actually there’s a whole demographic they should hand this out to: college students.

What do you think of the idea of Soylent? Would you eat it? What fictional futuristic product would you like to see made into reality? Leave your thoughts in the comment box below.

For more on Soylent, read on:

It’s the End of the World As We Know It (Oh, Shut Up)

The sky is falling! It’s a plane! The British are coming!

Oh the Interwebs just love their daily dose of hysteria. To be honest, I rather dislike the news. To clarify, I dislike the news media culture. Learning about what goes on in the world outside of my little bubble is great. I love to learn and I enjoy, to a degree, hearing about how messed up humanity is. As George Carlin would say “It’s entertainment! Live a little!”

But to go back to news media culture and why it sucks – it’s ratings-driven. HBO’s The Newsroom offers a really neat – if overly dramaticized – view of the politics and backstage workings of newscasting. Jeff Daniels plays the highest paid news anchor on TV, who seeks the good old days of hard-hitting journalism. It’s reality. The powers that be of the news media culture know what we want to see because they have skillfully manufactured it. They spoon feed us stories of terrorism, poverty, political scandals, showing us how dark and miserable the rest of the world is (and how lucky the first world is). And then they give us pieces of hope, where they shower us with stories of found puppies, revitalized children, and stupid renditions of that awful, awful “Harlem Shake” trend.

It’s the end of the world, folks! Have you heard? North Korea’s gonna’ nuke us! Duck and cover, kids – they gonna’ go Gangnam style on our asses. Haven’t you seen that Olympus Has Fallen movie? Did you see how easily those Koreans took over the White House? It’s totally plausible. Secret service agents are obviously inept. They’re trained to mindlessly run out into the front lawn to get mowed down by superior Korean weaponry. Gerard Butler, save us!

Olympus Has Fallen - secret service agents mowed down by North Koreans

Shown: Convenient stupidity of unimportant characters for purposes of plot progression.

And to hell with international politics – have you heard that Roger Ebert passed away? A moment’s silence please for the king of film criticism.

Silenced yet? Give yourself and Mr. Ebert a thumbs up.

All right, moving on.

In happier news, the Craigslist Killer has been sentenced to death! Yippee…? Yeah. You see?  The news is depressing. Death, death, death. Well, death sells. If modern executions were broadcast on television, you could bet that that would get some of the highest ratings of anything in the history of “entertainment.” However, that’s actually a topic of discussion for another time.

Now that I’ve raised your spirits, here’s R.E.M.’s music video of “It’s the End of the World.”

What do you think of the news? Informational? Entertaining? Trash *cough*FOX*cough*? What’s your favorite recent news story?

Is It Ready to Come Out Now, America?

As of November 6, 2012, the answer is a loud, beautiful “YES” from the states of Maryland, Maine, and Washington, the newest inductees into the Hall of Common Sense. These three join 6 other states in legalizing gay marriage. This is technically “old” news, but I have been reveling in the post-elections fervor and staying away from the blog until all the excitement/frustration began to die down. People are still exhilarated/outraged by the results, but at least the campaign ads are gone. Praise the gods.

Now, unless you’ve been living beneath a rock, the winner of the electoral and popular votes was-

Obama - Batman Slapping RobinBut I don’t need to tell you. The whole world already knows by now. Thank all that is great and beautiful – the elections are over.

And there was a lot of exciting news, which you’ve also probably heard about already. Big wins and great PR for the LGBT community. Democrats triumphed. Marijuana is a couple of steps closer to being legalized. Health care is becoming more and more accessible to lower class individuals and families.

So- huzzah! Elections season is over! So stop trying to kill each other about politics (which are all just silly anyway) and fly! Be free! You’ve done your duty as a voting American (or not) and now we can stop talking about elections. Elections elections-

ELECTIONS

Okay, it’s out of my system.

Carry on, America. All is right again (Well, as “right” as it ever was.)

Oh, and petitions have been made by at least one person in all 50 states to secede because of the election results. *sigh* People are stupid.

Thoughts? Comments? Want me to shut up about elections? Leave your feedback below!