I Regretfully Regret: Cramming for Physics

Wait, wait, I know this isn’t all that original. “A college student procrastinating on important college work? Oh me, oh my.” But hold on and just read the damn post. Humor me.

Indeed, “Procrastination” is my middle name – a middle name I’m sure I share with plenty of you, college students or otherwise.

As you may remember, I recently started a new post series called “I Regretfully Regret” – which was supposed to be weekly, but cut me some slack. I’m a lazy college student, remember? This week, my Regretful Regret is cramming for a physics midterm and here is why:

  1. Physics is damn tough.
  2. What the hell is Bernoulli’s equation again?
  3. When did my handwriting get so bad?
  4. Crap, I can’t figure out half of what I wrote down for notes
  5. Is that a “t” or a “w”?
  6. Calculator… battery dead? Nooooooooo… Must scramble through a dozen and two drawers to find batteries.
  7. 1:43 a.m. – if I finish in half an hour, I’ll still get approximately 5 hours and 47 minutes of sleep
  8. 2 hour session of alternating among studying, YouTubing, and crying
  9. 4:12 a.m. – can still get 3 hours and something something minutes of sleep [oh no, my math skills have died]
  10. Inject emergency caffeine supply into arm. Head to class.

Stay in school, kids, and practice healthy study habits.

Yeah, right.

What is a recent Regretful Regret you have? If you’re a student, do you have any school-related regrets to share? (Don’t lie – we know you have plenty). Share them in the comments!

Advertisements

How Not To Fall Asleep During Physics

Physics is great. Dropping your phone, crazy hair getting static-y, meteorites plummeting into Mahther Russiaeverything is physics. Not to mention – Newton’s the man.

Sir Isaac Newton: Like A Boss

Like a boss.

Physics is not the problem. Monotonic professors in poorly lit rooms are the problem. But even that is shifting the blame.

A college professor’s job is not to entertain their students. [Aside: Please excuse me for using “their” as a gender neutral term. I’m lazy and I dislike how jarring “he/she” looks.] Their job is to enlighten the future of America and inspire them to be model citizens for country. More or less. Therefore, I appreciate teachers – I really do – even the ones who don’t give a crap. I’m not one to judge.

However, when you have to wake up at 6 AM, watch your brain turn to goo in a logic and reasoning mathematics class, and then go straight to physics, things aren’t going to look very pretty. You see, by this point, your morning has been shot to hell and you’re inclined to be a Grumpy McGrouchster for the rest of the day. But you won’t be openly hostile to others because you’re a stand-up guy/gal, who saves all the stress and fatigue for when you slip into bed and then cry into your pillow until dawn – before starting the cycle over tomorrow. O first world problems.

All in all, what I’m saying is it’s hard to stay awake in class sometimes. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about the subject. It doesn’t mean I don’t like the professor. It does mean that waking up early and going to morning classes make me tired and ancient professors with soft, milquetoast voices make me even more tired. I need toothpicks to keep my eyes pried open.

Because I’m ever so enlightened and generous, here are some ways to stay awake during [insert sleep-inducing class here]:

  • Doodle
  • Plan out your weekend
  • Text madly
  • Write poetry
  • Scratch out your doodle ’cause it was crap
  • Text merrily
  • Think about how much you hate Andrea from The Walking Dead
  • Pen the next great American novel (or Chinese novel – whatever floats your boat)
  • Try to come up with a blog post that isn’t obviously phoning it in

Or, if you’re one of them rebels who couldn’t care less:

  • Wear sunglasses
  • Pick a seat in the back of the room
  • Place hand on chin
  • Fall asleep

Disclaimer: Not recommended if you’re a snorer. Pleasant dreams.

How many hours of sleep do you usually get? How do you stay awake in class? Tell us your tactical secrets. (It’s the Internet. Your secret’s safe.)