Writing ’13 Instead of ’14 on My Papers ‘Cause I’m A Rebel… or Forgetful

Congratulations, fellow Stressors. You’ve made it to another calendar year. (So what if I’m a week late. 2014’s not going anywhere anytime soon – unless you’re not reading this in 2014…)

As you can see, I’m back from winter break. I went to Hawaii, spent time with family, and did a bunch of cool stuff that I’m totally not going to talk about here. Instead, what I’m going to bore you with is a rant on… something?

Eyes Close Up - Stressing Out College

Or we could just have a staring contest.

Some of you, like me, have just started back up on your classes for your winter quarter or semester or whatever system you’re on. If you’re not yet back in classes, cherish your moments of non-academic vacationhood or else I’m going to reach through this screen and bitchslap some sense into you.

Bear with me as I get back into the swing of… actually doing stuff.

2014. Is it going to be a big year? A small year? A Napoleonic year? Hell if I know. I do know that I’ll be turning 21 this year and that’s pretty much about it.

As you may remember, I have no interest in resolutions. They’re silly. End of story. I make gentle suggestions to myself that I end up ignoring 97% of. [Gasp, a preposition at the end of a sentence.] So here are my gentle suggestions of 2014:

  • Read at least one unassigned book per month. When classes start, life stops. Leisure time gets replaced by lesion time as I drag my discipline and motivation to study through the dirt behind me. My list of books that I own, but have yet to read keeps growing.
  • Learn a non-Monty Python song on the ukulele. The uke is something I got on a planned whim a couple months ago. It’s very travel-friendly and it has a lovely timbre, but I tend to plateau quickly when learning something like this without an instructor holding me accountable. Damn my laziness. My YouTube muses are not soaring.
  • Take a stroll through the gym. No, no, Subconscious, I know what you’re thinking (paradoxically). It’s not like I’m going to be getting on the elliptical or picking up any weights or breaking a sweat. No, no, no, silly. Just a stroll. I am after all paying some hundred dollars in my student fees for the recreation center. Why not take an innocent, sweatless stroll…
  • Scribble more. This blog has been a good semi-creative outlet. And I’ve found that with activities like NaNoWriMo, I actually do like writing. So maybe I’ll put pen to paper or finger to key more. Maybe.
  • Figure out what the heck I want to do with my life. Ha. Still kidding.

That wasn’t a rant. But it’s good to be back.

Edit: And oh my goodness, Sherlock is back! (If you haven’t watched it because it’s not available in your area yet, e-mail me and I’ll let you know how to watch it on the BBC website now: stressingoutcollege@gmail.com. Shhhh, you didn’t hear anything from me…)

How were your holidays? Got any new year resolutions or suggestions you know you’re not going to keep? 

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New School Year Resolutions (That I May or May Not Keep)

It’s that time of year again, folks – Back to School! Many of you school-goers have already been back for several weeks and, like me, you probably have some preconceptions about how this school year is going to turn out. As you may know, I absolutely adore making resolutions and I am in no way lazy or prone to procastibatory habits. Some of us set our bars high: get straight A’s, schmooze up professors for good recommendations, land an internship, etc. And some of us set our bars at a slightly lower level: make it through the year without dying… yep. (Or the slightly more ambitious “make it through the year without becoming a hermetic, manic depressive alcoholic.”)

Here's Johnny

“You want a thesis?? Heeere’s a thesis!”

What I’ve found to be the most damaging to our resolution-keeping morale is our delusory convictions that all of our resolutions are made within the bounds of reality. Bubble-bursting time: they’re usually not. “I’m going to lose 50 pounds by the end of the term!” All right, start by ignoring all your classes, then hit the gym twice a day every day for the next three months, whilst counting each calorie that makes it pass those porker lips of yours. Oh, and don’t forget to forget to eat. Good luck!

So here are my realistic resolutions for this upcoming term:

  • Go to all my classes
  • Don’t sleep in any  more than one of my classes [per week]
  • Send a request to the ego to hit the gym at least 3 times a week (Actually convincing self: optional)
  • Indulge in a face-to-face interaction with someone new (even if it’s one of those Greenpeace canvassers)
  • Don’t procrastinate
  • Procrastinate less
  • Cultivate more strategic strategies of completing work at the penultimate moment before the deadline
  • Go to sleep before midnight (unless there’s something irresistibly interesting on the Internet)
  • Cut back on the awkwardness [just a smidge- don’t go crazy]

Well, I think that just about covers it. What more should I add to my realistic list of resolutions that I’ll totally keep?

What are some resolutions you’ve made for yourself this school year? Are they school-related or just general life-related? Hold yourself accountable and share them in the comments. Don’t worry, you’re in good demotivated company.