Update: I’m Abandoning Y’all for the Mormons

So for the next 2-3ish weeks, I’ll be hanging out in Utah with a couple of friends in the woods, doing morally questionable activities, and (hopefully) having the a time of our lives.

If you need to reach me, I might return to civilization intermittently within these next couple weeks – but likely not. So really, if you need to reach me, you’ll likely have to find me in person in Uinta National Forest. Good luck. I’ll probably be the only Asian for miles, so it shouldn’t be that tough.

Check out my other blog for a slightly more detailed update.

Other than that, I hope you folks enjoy your next couple weeks without me. I’ll miss you and I’ll have fun with you in mind.

Cheers,
SOS

Scrap Paper Poetry #9: Final Final Finally Finished

Scrap Paper Poetry #9 | Stressing Out College

Final final finally finished:
My mind is numb, all brain waves diminished.
But the year is over and I can easily breathe;
Summer is here, a much needed reprieve.
For the next three months, I’m as free as a bird
And I won’t have to be forced to etch another word
Of a god awful essay or droll presentation,
I can start on my packing for summer vacation.
My hairs are a little grayer
And I’m now relying on Bayer,
But exams have been vanquished-
Final final finally finished.


Well, another year has come to a close and another summer has approacheth’d. I don’t need any excuses for my fauxetry. My brain might now be a charred lump of coal after this past harrowing year, but that ain’t gonna stop me from trying to have a kick ass summer vacation. Fellow stressed out students – rejoice! 

He-e-e-re’s Johnny, It’s Ali-i-i-i-ve! (and Other Resurrection Cliches)

Lucy, I’m home!

You may not be America’s favorite oldies redhead, but I ain’t a crooning Hispanic man either. In any case, after a summer filled with Hangover-meets-Mister-Magoo-esque shenanigans, Stressed Out Student is back! I know you recurring readers have missed me awfully and have felt just a little bit emptier these past few months, so I applaud you for your verve and undying tenacity. Well, folks, the drought of quality humor and deep societal insight is over! I’m making it rain!

Metaphorically, of course. I’m still a college student, so the making of the fiscal rain is postponed. Wait, that turned out to be a mixed metaphor. Sorry, I’m a bit rusty, but I’ll be back in tip top creative, sarcastic shape in no time. This upcoming week, to make up for lost time (time very well spent, actually), I will be posting each day leading up to that harrowing date of September 30 – the first day of Fall Quarter 2013. (Cue clattering lightning).

To the familiar faces, I’ve missed you all. To the new faces, stick around, you might learn something.

Or at the very least, smile and hate your life just a little bit less. That is all.

How was your summer? Do anything great, exciting, irresponsible? Share it in the comments (even if you thought your summer was boring as Hell – you’re special, too).

They May Take Our Lives, But They’ll Never Take… OUR FRE-E-E-E-E-DOM!


Goodbye, Finals- Hello, Summer!

Dear Loverly Readers,

To take a break from the academic world, I will be gone on a trip for approximately three weeks. In that time, it is unlikely I’ll be posting much – if at all. (I’ll be too busy making very responsible decisions with equally responsible comrades).

So for now, I say “toodle-oo” and enjoy your summer break, fellow students! And to the rest of you, you non-students, do not fret for my absence will be but a blip in your wonderful/mundane/wonderfully-mundane lives.

If I were less distracted by the prospect of exciting adventures, I’d be more creative in writing this post. But for now-

I got nothin’.

With dearest, unironic regards,

-SOS

For old time’s sake, care to share what your summer’s going to look like? Spelunking in the caves of Peru? Catching up on Game of Thrones? Share!

Vacational Cerebral Atrophy (A.K.A. Getting Dumber over the Summer)

20110630-000744.jpg

Anywhere from 2 weeks ago to 2 months ago, students across the U.S. of A. were released from their annual 10 month sentence of incarceration. No more confinement with scheduled “outside” hours. No more having to ask to go to the bathroom (and getting coldly rejected). No more trips to the warden in the detentional hall. And definitely no more menial labor for “our benefit.” Because guess what? It’s summertime, baby.

It is summertime! Well, in school terms, it’s summertime. The summer solstice occurs around June 20th, so technically, it’s still spring when most schools get out. But that’s not important. What is important is the fact that – unless you’re going to summer school – there is no freaking school for 3 months. Heck. Yes.

I am Superman

And develop superhuman flying abilities

As soon as the final bell rings, you and your peers break through the rusty prison – I mean school – doors, rip off your shirts/pants and unleash a victorious warcry signalling your survival of yet another school year. Bring on the fun and the laziness! Yeah, everyone go to my house. I’ll provide the music – you bring the booze and he’ll bring the textbooks – to burn! (Of course you wouldn’t do this because you’re more responsible than that. Yeah.)

So for the next 3 months, the words “homework,” “study,” “set alarm clock,” “all-nighter,” and all their associations will automagically vanish from your vocabulary. You will purge your system physically and mentally of all mention of the mandatory institution that is public education and you will let yourself go in every way possible to make up for the past 10 months of academic brain-frying. Also, you’re trying to get a head start for next year because hey, you are a proactive fellow with goals and priorities and all that good stuff.

If you’re really lucky, you’ll even forget how to read and write! Suck that, Education System. All that work teaching me for nothin’! Aint it awsum!!!1 These next three months will be cycling between partying, screwing up my sleeping schedule, getting a tan from the sun, getting a tan from my computer screen, and wasting all the time in the world (three months’ time).

One of my high school teachers: Why don’t you utilize [he’s the kind of guy that says “utilize” instead of just plain “use”] your summer break to improve yourself and further your education?

Random Student: Dude, why would I wanna’ do that?

High School Teacher: Students always complain they don’t have enough time, when they are the ones that have plenty of time. Make yourself a more valuable person. Build yourself for success.

Random Student: … Sounds like work.

High School Teacher: *In-your-soul-and-inner-thoughts-stare* Just go kick some academic butt.

Huh? You mean, actually do… meaningful stuff over summer break?… Is that even legal? What about having fun and purging all traces of school from our systems? What? Pshaw, the future is the future – it ain’t here yet, so I don’t have to worry about it. So buck off, Old Timer.

Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout, Willis?

Caption not needed

To the point of this entry: summer doesn’t have to be a waste of time. You don’t have to let yourself struggle your first week of school just because you forgot everything you ever learned and thus have to waste the first month of the next school year refreshing lessons from the first grade. Do I sound like a party-pooping old fart? Unfortunately, I kind of do.

Regardless, just make a list of things you want to accomplish or try or just plain do this summer. Give yourself a goal. A lot can be done in three months: travelling to Cambodia, learning a language, developing a new mathematical theorem applicable to quantum physics. Lots can be done! So don’t just sit and regret not doing things. (Conversely, don’t do things that you’ll regret doing – but I don’t want to get too old-fart-preachy.)

Here are some things you can do to make the most of your summer (Hint: Links provided for clarification. Click on them.):


So get out there and reach your potential! Explore the unexplored! Achieve the unachieved! Unleash the… leashed…

Just go!

Images courtesy of Stock.Xchng and www.hogshaven.com