Scrap Paper Poetry #9: Final Final Finally Finished

Scrap Paper Poetry #9 | Stressing Out College

Final final finally finished:
My mind is numb, all brain waves diminished.
But the year is over and I can easily breathe;
Summer is here, a much needed reprieve.
For the next three months, I’m as free as a bird
And I won’t have to be forced to etch another word
Of a god awful essay or droll presentation,
I can start on my packing for summer vacation.
My hairs are a little grayer
And I’m now relying on Bayer,
But exams have been vanquished-
Final final finally finished.


Well, another year has come to a close and another summer has approacheth’d. I don’t need any excuses for my fauxetry. My brain might now be a charred lump of coal after this past harrowing year, but that ain’t gonna stop me from trying to have a kick ass summer vacation. Fellow stressed out students – rejoice! 

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Scrap Paper Poetry #8: Rime of the Alumni Caller

Scrap Paper Poetry #8 | Stressing Out College

Hello! my name is – do you have the time
to listen to a caller’s rhyme?

Night after night, machine after machine,
a voicemail greeting most obscene,
rejection here, a hang up there,
suppressed frustrations everywhere.

“Match that gift-” the managers cry,
while we ask alumni to buy, buy, buy
the security of students future, present, and past
to ensure our beloved school will last-

Oh please! Don’t go! I’ve just begun!
And there goes yet another one.
With every single angry click,
I follow the clock, each sluggish tick.
The second hand is my dearest friend,
the one who leads to me each shift’s end.

Hello! my name is – do you have the time
to listen to a caller’s rhyme?


Dedicated to my fellow call center workers, especially those at university telefunds. A half-assed poem is all the condolence I can offer. Whatever pays the bills.

101 Damnations: 101 Stressed Out Ramblings

Because I, like every neurotic narcissistic individual on the Internet, enjoy celebrating mundane trivialities.

Here on Stressing Out College, we kicked off the new year a week late with post No. 100, appropriately about my love of new years resolutions. 100, a round number, aesthetically pleasing, easy to work with in math. Who cares- I’m just making up a reason to post and liven up this place a little bit.

A lot of my previous ideas on this blog lost steam with me and I’ve been having issues rediscovering my inspiration. There’s only so many ways I can say that college and life stresses me out and that some people or institutions are stupid. The only recurring segment that I’ve been keeping up with is the Scrap Paper Poetry, which I’ve actually been rather happy about. A series that I did way back in the third age of this blog was Transportation Tuesday, which I’ll be bringing back. Don’t know why I ever stopped it. Public transportation is loaded with comedic material. And I’ll be starting a monthly series in February reading and reviewing a book from my neglected book shelf, so… we’ll see how that pans out.

But to cut to the real meat of these cojones, what I really wanted to do was plug my other blog: The Big Blog of All the S#!t I KnowWhy everyone should be following me around and listening to what I have to say.

Big Blog of All the Shit I Know Logo

Shameless self-promotion time: While I rant on Stressing Out College about random topics loosely related to school or Monty Python or whatever it is that I tend to write about on here, The Big Blog of All the S#!t I Know is where I share my thoughts on society, civilization, organic relationships, and universal ecology. A bit heavier topics, but not without the sarcastic lightness you’ve come to know and love from me. ((Insert cheesy smile here)) Plus, I tend to swear more there. And they have cookies*. So please go check it out!

And finally, I would just like to say thank you to all my readers (yes, all five of you). Without you folks, I’d just be that crazy-haired chick at your local street corner constantly muttering to herself about how awesome Oscar Wilde and Monty Python are and wouldn’t it be great if education wasn’t so frustrating…

So thank you and let’s make this year even more stressful than the last.

Cheers,

SOS

*Just Internet cookies. Sorry, not sorry.

Scrap Paper Poetry #7: The Studying Dead

Scrap Paper Poetry #7
The students crawl in,
The students crawl out
They stalk the library
And lug about
Their arm-and-leg textbooks
And coffee stained pages
With eyes lacking luster-
They haven’t slept in ages.
It’s Dead Week – Beware
For the dead shall walk
Through dorm rooms, cafes,
And each campus block.
We hunger for brains
And will never rest
Until judgment day:
That sweet final test.


And holy balls- did you watch The Walking Dead? Good reminder of the benefits of staying ahead ((badum tss)). Good luck with finals, fellow students! And to all else, good luck with… life!