New School Year Resolutions (That I May or May Not Keep)

It’s that time of year again, folks – Back to School! Many of you school-goers have already been back for several weeks and, like me, you probably have some preconceptions about how this school year is going to turn out. As you may know, I absolutely adore making resolutions and I am in no way lazy or prone to procastibatory habits. Some of us set our bars high: get straight A’s, schmooze up professors for good recommendations, land an internship, etc. And some of us set our bars at a slightly lower level: make it through the year without dying… yep. (Or the slightly more ambitious “make it through the year without becoming a hermetic, manic depressive alcoholic.”)

“You want a thesis?? Heeere’s a thesis!”

What I’ve found to be the most damaging to our resolution-keeping morale is our delusory convictions that all of our resolutions are made within the bounds of reality. Bubble-bursting time: they’re usually not. “I’m going to lose 50 pounds by the end of the term!” All right, start by ignoring all your classes, then hit the gym twice a day every day for the next three months, whilst counting each calorie that makes it pass those porker lips of yours. Oh, and don’t forget to forget to eat. Good luck!

So here are my realistic resolutions for this upcoming term:

• Go to all my classes
• Don’t sleep in any  more than one of my classes [per week]
• Send a request to the ego to hit the gym at least 3 times a week (Actually convincing self: optional)
• Indulge in a face-to-face interaction with someone new (even if it’s one of those Greenpeace canvassers)
• Don’t procrastinate
• Procrastinate less
• Cultivate more strategic strategies of completing work at the penultimate moment before the deadline
• Go to sleep before midnight (unless there’s something irresistibly interesting on the Internet)
• Cut back on the awkwardness [just a smidge- don’t go crazy]

Well, I think that just about covers it. What more should I add to my realistic list of resolutions that I’ll totally keep?

What are some resolutions you’ve made for yourself this school year? Are they school-related or just general life-related? Hold yourself accountable and share them in the comments. Don’t worry, you’re in good demotivated company. 

What to Write When You Don’t Know What to Write About (or How to Waste Time)

Ok, here we go, getting back to regularly blogging. Ok. *attempts to crack knuckles* Ow. Ok, ok, let’s see what we have here. A title. Good, good, at least we have a title. Is it funny? Who am I kidding, it’s a riot. Eh, it’s all right, but it’s 11 PM and that final episode of Dexter was freaking disappointing. I mean really – did any of the writers, actors, producers give a flying fart anymore about what happened in the show? And why did they-

Focus. Focus. Blog post. All right what’s funny, what’s funny. Uh, procrastinating. Er, no, not procrastinating, there’s nothing to procrastinate yet. So let’s procrastinate on procrastinating. Next.

Write about my summer? Ech, long story, too lazy. TL;DR: “too lazy; didn’t (w)rite”.

Tee hee, I’m clever.

Starting over – what do I want to write about? What is it that I just can’t wait to share with the world (or my small corner of it on WordPress)? Meditate, meditate, ooooooohm, oooooohhm, oooo… Falling asleep *slap slap* What’s the time? Great, I’ve only passed 2 minutes. Ugh, what am I going to write about???!

Well, at least I’m writing again, priming the pump for some actually interesting and entertaining writing… Oh no, I’m going to lose readers, aren’t I? This is crap, this is CRAP!!! C-R-A-P CRAP. Wait, only at about 290 words – Must. Write. More.

Words, words, words, lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, klaatu barata nikto-

Oh, check the news- no, too lazy. Look around the room for inspiration- egad, what a mess. I really should clear my desk of all that crap. Maybe I’ll get to it tomorrow.

Who am I kidding, I’m too lazy.

In conclusion: I’m too lazy to give you a decent post. So there. *raspberry*

(Slowly getting back into the swing of things. I promise to have a quality post tomorrow. Pinky swear.) 

Mr. DeMille, I’m Ready for My Close-up [Goddammit, Not That Close]

It’s week 9 here of spring term. Just two weeks from finals. And like all my fellow college students at the end of their rope, I’m… well, at the end of my rope.

Yep, all creativity has been sucked from my little Asian soul. [I have no idea what being Asian has to do with my soul.]

Anywho, because I’m lazy and feeling uncreative, but have the urge to write and come back to you, my lovely lovely readers – and not to mention, I need some kind of pick-me-up that doesn’t involve caffeine or re-runs of Parks and Recreation – this has become a run-on sentence.

Awards! People like me! Yippee, my existence has been validated!

Over the past couple months, I’ve been nominated for a few different awards. Not wanting to annoyingly post about each one of them separately, I decided to bundle them up into one awesome post [a.k.a. This post]. All right, let’s all crack our knuckles and limber up for some major self-indulgence (in the new technicolor chronological order)!

First up is the beautiful and talented Si02, who bestowed upon me the Versatile Blogger Award. And recently, the Cabbage Patch rocker plainawkwardgirl decided I was versatile as well.

Nextly is the mentally scintillating DrFrood with the Liebster Award. [Say it in an uber-exaggerated German-ish accent: “Das Leeebshtuh Avort”.]

Award numero tres is from the delightfully awkward blogger Project Southsea with the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Who knew 500 mg doses of sarcasm and a daily cup of stress could be so inspiring?

And lastly, oh-so-not-leastly is the supersaccharine misssamanthajill with – here’s a cute one – The Super Sweet Blogger Award. It’s amazing how supportive bloggers can be of their blogging community. I’ve never been sweet in my life. If you mean I’m like, totally sweet, dude brah, you’d probably be more accurate. Not that I’m criticizing your judgment of my character. I totes appreciate this.

Here are the rules for each one:

Versatile Blogger Award

1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Thank and link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination by linking to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.

Liebster Award

1. The Liebster Award is given by bloggers to bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
2. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.
3. Each blogger should answer the 11 questions given to you.
4. Choose 11 new bloggers to pass the award on to and link them in your post.
5. Create 11 new questions for the chosen bloggers.
6. Go back to their page and tell them about the award.
7. No tag backs.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

1. Display the award logo.
2. Link back to the person who gave you this award nomination.
3. State seven pieces of information about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers, post links to their page and drop them a comment to let them know.

Super Sweet Blogger Award

1. Thank the Super Sweet Blogger that nominated them
2. Answer five super sweet questions and five of your own
3. Include the Super Sweet Blogging award image in your blog post
4. Nominate a baker’s dozen (13) other bloggers
5. Notify your nominees on their blog

Now that we’ve gotten the crapload of different rules down, let’s get to the nitty gritty. Since, as I’ve told you before, I’m lazy and not out of my mind (yet), I’m not going to be state a bajillion things about myself nor am I going to nominate a bajillion people. Five each, that’s all I have energy and the attention span for.

Nominees (in no particular order):

• twentysomethinganecdotes
  
• entropy: the other constant
• PolyAphrodite
• gingermermaid
• INFJoe

To the nominees, pick any award you’d like. You deserve any and all of them. Pick one and pass it on according to the rules. I don’t mind which one you pick, just join in the fun and give it to your fellow awesome bloggers. Or don’t. It’s all the same to me. Hey, and if you’re passing by this post and feel like picking up an award – because you, too, deserve it – feel free to snatch one. I’m not the awards police. It doesn’t matter. Grab an award, follow the instructions, and pass it on! (Or don’t. It’s all the same to me.)

5 Things You Didn’t Know You Wanted to Know About S.O.S.

1. I have a cat named Cat-Cat.
2. My pinkie toes are a little funny. As in they’re little and funny.
3. I like striped shirts. And cardigan sweaters. Professorial hipster coming through. [Edit: Wait, what the eff do striped shirts have to do with being hipster? Whatever, too tired to change it.]
4. I know all the lyrics from the musical The Phantom of the Opera. [Not really, just the main numbers].
5. Because I have a flat Asian nose, I can do this thing where I can block air coming into my nose by upturning my upper lip. It’s hella attractive, yo. [Really though, it’s super helpful when swimming and not getting water all up in my nostrils.]

Oh, and I Guess I Have To Ask Questions, Too

1. Paper or plastic?
2. Hobbes or Rousseau?
3. What’s the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
4. To Snuggie or not to Snuggie?
5. And, er… what’s your favorite day of the year?

And that’s a wrap! Thanks again to the wonderful bloggers who nominated me for these awards – it truly warms my heart to know that there are those out there who do like this blog. Check out all the bloggers linked in this post. They’re sweet, inspiring, versatile, and liebster-ly. And you there Dear Reader, take one, pass it on – it’s as easy as one, dos, trois!

Falling Off the Face of the Earth

Dear Whomever Stumbles Across This,

For the next week, this stressed out student is taking something of an educational vacation.

Because of that, I won’t be able to update this wondiferously amazing site in real time. Therefore, I’ve scheduled some rad posts to come out Monday through Friday this coming week of spring break. Some of you students are on break; some have already been on break; some have yet to taste that spring freedom. To all of you, I say keep calm and study on (and don’t forget to procrastinate).

Because I’m no Dan Brown and I’m too lazy to be fun and make up a series of riddles or a textual scavenger hunt for this week, so you’re just going to have to settle with some old news dribble. I promise not to have too much fun without you folks because you know I love ya (except for that one guy, yeah, you know who you are). I also promise to make healthy, responsible, and all-around angelic choices this week unlike my fellow girls-gone-wild-esque peers (and you too, Jersey Shore fellas). 

So with a tip of my imaginary hat, I bid you folks a temporary adieu and enjoy yourself. Just enjoy yourself.

With non-sarcastic love,

S.O.S.